Task 2a Reflective Journal Task

I started a private journal last week and it would be true to say I have a lot to reflect upon. It is the middle of November (Movember) so actually, facially I am looking quite different, I never have a moustache but I have be cajoled, with some of my colleagues to grow one for awareness of testicular cancer.

I suppose, as my face changes, when i dare look in the mirror, with the tache, I hope some change is taking place in me, as a reflection of the work embarked upon on the course.

One of the things I have started to notice, is how difficult it can be to write subjectively, even to yourself, on matters that are very personal to you and emotive - particularly in a time of transition, in relation to parts of a professional life.

Due to the nature of it, strong passions are often involved. Building something up from nothing, to what you beleive is a stable, healthy, ethical and successful state involves some tender loving care, along with hard work, that I suppose is most easily defined in the time and degree of effort you know yourself, you have put into it. It also involves complex relationships with other practitioners, some of which you may have taken years to reach a certain fluid understanding with. The reward of this though, in my personal experience, is that you complement one another, through your strengths and weaknesses, to a far greater extent.

It can be absolutely gut wrenching, to see something that quantifiably has made such a difference to many lives be undermined, for quite shallow reasons and with a distinct lack of evidence.

I would like to think that had I started a journal some time ago, I may have picked up on my own weaknesses, in a decision making, democratic process that would have helped me bring the above situation to a head, a lot sooner, causing a lot less pain to everyone involved, probably in a more assertive way.

As part of my journal, on a daily basis,  I am seeking ways in which to critically reflect on simple things that have happened that day.

I also wonder if I can somehow turn the above into a positive outcome, as whilst the future looks a lot rosier now, I was forced, in a really negative way, to carefully plan any actions I chose to take, in consultation with others, with all the minutae of evidence required - a time consuming process - I wonder if this in its own garbled way, acts as some form of record keeping that can enhance reflective practise? answers on a postcard lol.

I do think it helped and made me and others, more lucid in justifying actions and decisions. I guess the passion actually carried this process forward.